I haven't been able to write in quite a while. Not because I wouldn't have anything to say, but because what I had to say would bored me out of myself.
I believe. No, I want to believe that somehow, someday, everything will change for me and I will get all the things I want. But that's not true. We often cheat ourselves by expecting that false moment. And as the Chinese proverb may properly remark that happiness is not a destination, but a journey, how hard is it to be happy.
When I take my time to think about it, trying to remind myself of all the blessings that I count, I know I must be the most ungrateful person in the whole wide world. But I just can't wrap my mind about the feeling. I sense a tiny hole. A missing piece.
And so I consciously remind myself that it may be just like this forever. And as it is I should sit back and try to enjoy the ride.
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